Just like you, but different
Fear and Doubt are two things that are personal to the ‘you’.
Today I find myself in a place where I have both, and there are rare periods of time when I have the fear or I have the doubt.
They’re not common periods, and seem to come and go as quickly as a moment.
I’m not sure I have them about a specific things, or whether I’m just generally in doubt, or in fear.
Not doubtful but in doubt. I doubt my security at my workplace, isn’t the same as being doubtful about my job security. For the former is a feeling I have, an uncertainty as a reaction to things, an it’s not based on any outward events, actions or news that would lead me otherwise to doubt things.
Doubt as a reaction to a change, and not being able to settle to a position on it. Doubt because you’re not actually sure about the journey you’re being asked to go on.
I sometimes have the doubt in my own ability, and if I have the fortitude to get me through the journey.
The Fear. Sometimes I have this with the doubt. Sometimes just on its own.
Fear of getting old, of not having done enough, of being poor. A fear that somehow you’ve left something undone. A fear your life is about to be tipped over off balance.
So where has my suddenly melancholy fear and doubt some from? And when will it go away, and when will I know it has? Why has a sudden introspection thrown me off my good game?
I know that I’m feeling this way, and have fallen into a funk which makes it somewhat worse, I think acknowledging it is a start to making it better. Im not about to go sit on a cliff top or by the waters edge and spend hours in contemplation, it’s not a depression I have, just a fear and doubt.
And I’m sure that this too will pass