Unhappy Families – at least you can pick your friends – it continues.

I was all “Woe is me” recently, it’d been about 15 months since the mother died, and coming from a widely dispersed family settling the estate was proving a problem. The first problem was that there wasn’t a will.

The death was sudden and without suffering, and the fact that there was no will shouldn’t be a surprise. If you knew the family you’d know there was no surprise.

So as one of the furthest away from home  I’m also the one who makes the most noise. As you do.

Some of the family were so self absorbed as to be able to say “we don’t need the money it’ll work it’s way out”, and this is fine but alas things don’t just happen. I was a bit pointed when I remarked that the fact that although money might not be needed by them, it might be useful to someone else, like an old people’s refuge, or a injured service mans charity, for instance. Bit of a cad really.

I got a rightful serve by the family, who thought I was picking a fight and making an accusation of lazy, or worse. I felt a bit down about it to be honest. All I wanted was to resolve the estate and to let everyone get on with their disparate lives.

We’re not a  close family and despite a few attempts we are never going to have a reconciliation or a get together, just ain’t going to happen.

But wait…. since then, younger brother has got his wriggle on, and has sworn an allegiance to the queen or whatever it is you have to do in front of a judge, and has managed to secure a deed of probate which essentially means he is in control. FTW!

So the Letters of Administration will be issued and he will be in a position to make the Bank give up their secrets and allows him the power to withdraw the funds and that, essentially close the estate and divvy up the proceeds.

Except….. #1 sister is playing hard to get. This is the sister who spent a lot of time with the mother, and has made a big effort to make the funeral happen and to tidy up the edges. But at the same time #1 sister made some huge judgment calls about trinkets and trivia that benefitted those close. Don’t get me wrong these might have been the right calls and I’m not disputing or going to question it.

But there is some paperwork and some forms that need to be sent from A to B, and so far that hasn’t happened. Which is a can’t or won’t thing.  I’m not  saying that there is nefariousness or underhand at play, and I think that whatever is afoot is played out daily with family estates everywhere. nothing new, no new stories.

But what it does mean is that the mothers estate might only be a couple of months away from settled, and then the family can settle down to it’s own life again.

Related articles

• Unhappy Families – at least you can pick your friends. (pdubyah.com)
• Wills and Estates are not for the deceased, but the family left behind. (sassinannasworld.wordpress.com)
• Avoid these 4 awkward issues when drafting a will (business.financialpost.com)

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