Just like you, but different
Last night, having lost 4-0 MS17 arrived in the clubroom clearly very upset. At a point midway int he second half, the coach had changed the on field formation taking off one of the ‘inner’ (and captain) and a ‘striker’. Now either this didn’t register with MS17 (who plays at ‘back’) or wasn’t communicated very well on field. It did lead to some dis-array as the opposition made a bit of hay and mayhem as positionally the team were all set up wrong.
She says that after the game she approached the coach, Dave, and says she said that “it would have been nice to know about the changes” and had received not the reply she expected along the lines of “get over it”. Which is where, it seems, she loses composure.
In the clubroom she tells us that although she really enjoys the school hockey she hasn’t gotten over the fact that Dave, the coach, and age grade selector, had told her in the past that “she wasn’t fit” and that “she couldn’t hit a ball” and that her “grade level opportunities were limited.” Coupled with the fact that he’s chosen s strange combination of co-captains, one of whom is clearly not a teams player makes Ms17 a bit tetchy. That the co-captains are picked at age Grade level might be why they are co-captains, and that MS17 chose not to trial for the teams may also be the reason.
It’s clear though that there is a lack of something in the relationship that MS17 expects with the coach/selector, and it’s clear that she lacks the tools to be able to deal with and get the answers / feedback / input that she’s looking for. It’s all very challenging.
I’ve no idea how to fix this, but I’ll work at it though.